Managing Anger

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Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax" or "take it easy. Try to express yourself clearly and calmly. Angry outbursts are stressful to your nervous and cardiovascular systems and can make health problems worse. Consider the value of physical activity like regular exercise as a way to both improve your mood and release tension and anger. Avoid using recreational drugs and drinking too much alcohol, which can make you less able to handle frustration.

Mental Health and Anger Management

Get support from others. Talk through your feelings and try to work on changing your behaviors. If you have trouble realizing when you are having angry thoughts, keep a written log of when you feel angry. Try to gain a different perspective by putting yourself in another's place. Learn how to laugh at yourself and see humor in situations. Practice good listening skills.

Listening can help improve communication and can build trusting feelings between people. With this option, you get to go to the party and your room's clean so you don't have to worry about it for a while. But when you really think it through, it's pretty unlikely you'd get away with being gone for hours with no one noticing. And when you do get caught — look out! This is where you take action by choosing one of the three things you could do.

Monitor And Manage Your Anger - Think Out Loud With Jay Shetty

Look at the list and pick the one that is likely to be most effective. Ask yourself: What's my best choice? By the time you've thought it through, you're probably past yelling at your mom, which is a knee-jerk response. You may have also decided that sneaking out is too risky. Neither of these options is likely to get you to the party. So option b probably seems like the best choice. After you've acted and the situation is over, spend some time thinking about how it went.

Ask yourself: How did I do? Did things work out as I expected? If not, why not? Am I satisfied with the choice I made?

Managing outbursts | Mind, the mental health charity - help for mental health problems

Taking some time to reflect on how things worked out after it's all over is a very important step. It helps you learn about yourself and it allows you to test which problem-solving approaches work best in different situations. Give yourself a pat on the back if the solution you chose worked out well.

If it didn't, go back through the five steps and see if you can figure out why.

1. Recognise the warning signs

These five steps are pretty simple when you're calm, but are much tougher to work through when you're angry or sad kind of like in basketball practice when making baskets is much easier than in a real game when the pressure is on! So it helps to practice over and over again. The five-step approach is good when you're in a particular situation that's got you mad and you need to decide what action to take. But other things can help you manage anger too. Try these things even if you're not mad right now to help prevent angry feelings from building up inside.

Sometimes anger is a sign that more is going on. People who have frequent trouble with anger, who get in fights or arguments, who get punished, who have life situations that give them reason to often be angry may need special help to get a problem with anger under control. Tell your parents, a teacher, a counselor, or another adult you trust if any of these things have been happening:.

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These could be signs of depression or something else — and you shouldn't have to handle that alone. Anger is a strong emotion. It can feel overwhelming at times. It may make sense to set up their room as a safe place too. We found this helpful when our son was dealing with a lot of angry feelings.

We moved his toys and his bookshelf to a different room in the house so he could still play with them. We did this to keep everyone, including him, safe. And as time went on, and he had better control of his emotions, we were able to add things back to his room. One of the best things you can do is work on teaching coping skills kids can use before things escalate to epic proportions. The trick is practicing when they are in a calm and relaxed mood, not in the moment when they are angry. Help them identify those triggers, so you both know for the next time.

Is it a particular school subject that makes them frustrated? Perhaps being hungry or thirsty? Are their specific noises or locations that are frustrating? Help them identify the signs their body gives them that they are feeling angry. When kids are angry, there are usually other feelings that they are experiencing too. But anger is easy to see and often hides different feelings that lie below the surface.

Read more about the anger iceberg here. Now that they know what causes those big feelings and how to identify them, help them figure out ways to deal with those feelings in safe and healthy ways. Identify one coping skill your child would like to try.

Help your child learn healthy ways to deal with angry feelings

Take a few minutes during the week and have them practice a coping skill they may be able to use next time. For example, if they are going to try using shapes for deep breathing , have them practice before, so they know how it feels. The idea is to have them practice, so they know what it feels like to do it when they are calm. Using coping skills to deal with big feelings will not go perfectly every time.

Learning to manage anger is a work in progress. Little by little, with practice and time, kids will get better at it. Encourage them when they make safe and healthy choices. Using a feelings thermometer can help kids make the connection between their feelings and their coping skills. If they are having a hard time identifying what the behaviors were, I tell them what I noticed the last time I saw them get angry. Once we go through and identify behaviors on the thermometer, then we work on identifying coping skills they can use to calm down.

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Some examples include getting a drink of water, taking deep breaths, shredding paper, or taking a break. Make sure they have coping skills that will help them at each level of anger. For some kids, taking a drink of water can help calm them down when they are just slightly angry.

They need to do something different at that point, like take a break. If you'd like to make your own feelings thermometer, I've made a blank one for you to use. Download your free feelings thermometer here.

What Is Anger?

Meiners M. Another great book that talks about how anger affects your body and suggesting safe ways to express yourself. Angry Octopus by Lori Lite and Max Stasuyk A great book that actually is a progressive muscle relaxation and deep breathing script for kids. A large part of the book explains different strategies kids can use to express anger in a safe way, which I think is fantastic. I typically read one chapter at a time with the kids and work on some of the strategies listed in the book.